Chrismukkah time is here
Seth has decided this is the year Chrismukkah breaks big. He's determined
to be ready, even penning a Chrismukkah hymn. Ryan and Kirsten go along
with him, but Sandy is in no mood to celebrate. Caleb told Sandy he refuses
to hurt his family by revealing his affair with Renee and parentage of
Lindsay. Sandy tells Renee she might go to jail, too, but Renee doesn't
want to budge. Looks like Caleb's going to jail.
Inviting trouble
After some hesitation, Ryan tells Lindsay about Chrismukkah. He decides
to invite her to the festivities when Lindsay tells him the sad story
of how she's given up on Christmas - and on ever finding her father. Summer
and Marissa are also less than thrilled about the holidays - both their
boyfriends are unavailable -- so Seth invites them to the celebration
as well. Doh! Ryan thinks that'll make things awkward with Lindsay. When
Sandy finds out Ryan invited Lindsay, he tells him that wasn't such a
great idea, since her mom is involved in Caleb's case. What's that have
to do with Lindsay, the boys joke - is she his drug dealer? Hitman? Illegitimate
love child? Sandy freaks, and the boys figure out the truth. Ryan decides
to uninivite Lindsay, and asks that Seth do the same for Summer and Marissa.
Old flames
Julie isn't really that into Chrismukkah, but she's finding other ways
to occupy her time: namely, sleeping with Jimmy. She's conflicted, but
not enough to stop. She freaks out a little when she shows up late to
the office and Kirsten starts asking some probing questions.
The Chrismukkah spirit
Ryan tries to let Lindsay down gently, but Lindsay is too excited. Besides,
she's made Yarmuclaus, or yarmulke-shaped Santa hats! Looks like she's
coming. Seth tries to uninvited Summer, but she's caught up in the holiday,
and tells him that this gesture makes her think they're finally ready
to be friends. Seth wimps out too.
Secrets revealed
There's some awkwardness when Lindsay sees Marissa, but they get over
it. Julie and Jimmy make out in the kitchen and almost get caught, so
they make an appointment for some nookie in the bathroom in an hour. Those
faux pas are nothing compared to the main event: Caleb tells Sandy he
wants to come clean to Kirsten (but not Julie, who still scares him.)
Meanwhile, Renee returns to the house, determined to tell Kirsten herself.
Everyone converges on the kitchen at once, and Kirsten finally forces
Caleb to spill. Lindsay is devastated, Kirsten apoplectic, Julie righteously
angry. Kirsten and Julie both smack Caleb, and Kirsten throws a vase at
his head when he tries to talk to her. It falls to Seth to convince Caleb
to leave.
Picking up the pieces
Kirsten locks herself in a closet and won't come out. Ryan tries to talk
to Lindsay, but she tells him she can't see him - she wants nothing to
do with his family ever again. Caleb begs Julie for forgiveness, but she
stalks off to "find Marissa," which is code for "sleep with Jimmy." Seth
decides Chrismukkah is over - no one wants to celebrate this year.
Chrismukkah saved!
Summer won't give up on Chrismukkah. She has a plan, which involves getting
a generator and extension cord from Jimmy's boat (and, incidentally, almost
discovering Julie naked). Ryan convinces Kirsten to emerge by reminding
her of how good she is about welcoming new members to the family. Seth
finds Lindsay and welcomes her to the family. She tells him it's too early
to joke, but he informs her it's never too early to joke in the Cohen
family. They arrive back at her house to find it decked out in lights,
all decorated for Chrismukkah. The Cohens, Ryan, Summer, Marissa and her
mom are waiting for her. Kirsten tearfully welcomes Lindsay to the family.
Lindsay is touched but confused, and doesn't seem ready to forgive her
mother yet. Seth thanks Summer for saving Chrismukkah.
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Sandy tries to convince Caleb to come forward and tell the truth about his relationship with Renee Wheeler. Caleb claims he’s trying to protect Lindsay but Sandy’s not buying it. He thinks he’s trying to protect himself but Sandy can’t believe going to jail is a better option than facing Kirsten and Julie. Caleb thinks about it, well, Kirsten maybe.
Back at the Cohen residence, the Chrismukkah coordinating committee is in session -- meaning Seth’s telling Ryan and Kirsten what to do. Seth is convinced this is the year Chrismukkah will sweep the nation. He’s got everything under control, even merchandising and licensing, only problem is -- where do you find Jews in Orange County? He delegates “Jew-cruitment” to Sandy, but Sandy’s not in any mood to celebrate. Oy humbug.
At school, Seth runs the lyrics of his Chrismukkah song by Ryan. Ryan responds with his usual level of enthusiasm. By the way, Ryan’s not planning on bringing Lindsay to Chrismukkah dinner. He thinks it would be too awkward with Marissa there. But Seth saw the seating chart and Marissa’s not on it, so Ryan’s got nothing to worry about. Except Ryan’s worried he might be rushing things.
Speaking of rushing things… Julie and Jimmy are on Jimmy’s boat… in bed… together! Julie wants to know if this counts as adultery. Cheating on your husband with your ex-husband? Um, Jimmy thinks, technically, it does.
Sandy is meeting with Renee Wheeler out on the pier. She wonders why he wanted to meet there. Sandy’s run out of places to go. He’s had so many clandestine meetings lately he feels like he’s in an Oliver Stone movie. Sandy encourages Renee to come forward but she’s worried that if does, she’ll lose her daughter. Sandy informs her that she may lose her daughter either way. Right now the DA’s office is convinced Caleb’s been bribing somebody (and by “somebody,” he means Renee) at the City Councilman’s office. And unless “somebody” testifies differently, they’ve got enough evidence to send Renee to jail. Renee wants to know how she tells her daughter she’s been lying to her all her life, inventing a father she doesn’t have, keeping her from meeting her family. Sandy doesn’t have the answer, all he knows is that Caleb won’t come forward. She’s his last hope. Renee apologizes but says she can’t do it.
Ryan and Lindsay are at school studying together. She likes to study. In fact, she plans on studying right through the holidays. Yeah, she’s not a big fan. But you know who is a big fan? Seth. He’s invented his own super holiday – Chrismukkah -- eight days of gifts, followed by one day of many, many gifts. Lindsay explains that she and her mom stopped buying a tree a while ago because it was too sad with just two gifts under it. While other kids grew up and stopped believing in Santa, she grew up and stopped believing in her Dad. Ryan invites Lindsay to do what he did, spend the holidays with another family. Come to Chrismukkah!
Meanwhile, Marissa and Summer are in the student lounge discussing their prospects for the holidays. Summer’s looking forward to dinner with her step-monster face down in her Christmas ham and Marissa’s looking forward to hanging out on her dad’s boat and listening to how much he misses Hailey. Seth takes pity on them and invites them both to Chrismukkah dinner.
Back at home, Seth tells Ryan that Chrismukkah is going to be awesome… especially now that Marissa and Summer are coming. You invited Marissa? Seth didn’t’ think it would be a problem since Ryan decided not to invite Lindsay. Yeah, except he did invite Lindsay. Oh, that’s awkward.
Sandy’s grilling burgers when Seth and Ryan approach him with their dilemma. Sandy thinks maybe it’s not such a good idea to invite Lindsay over. He wants to know how serious it is between them. Ryan can’t quite put it into words so Seth helps out by explaining that it’s serious enough that Ryan wants to see her naked. Thanks, Seth. nbspSandy explains that Lindsay’s mom’s involved in Caleb’s case, so the timing’s not so good. Ryan and Seth don’t get it. What does Lindsay have to do with the case? Is she Caleb’s hit man? Drug dealer? Illegitimate love child? nbspnbspSuddenly Sandy drops his spatula and the boys stop laughing. Sandy warns them that this stays between them.
Ryan has to un-invite Lindsay so he asks Seth to un-invite Summer too. He has to tell Lindsay Chrismukkah isn’t happening this year and he doesn’t want her finding out Summer was there. Good point.
Ryan drops by Lindsay’s and asks if he can talk to her a minute. Yes, but first she wants to show him something. She’s made him a yarmuclaus! So, what did you want to tell me? Uh, can you bring some eggnog with you tonight?
Seth drops by Summer’s and asks if he can talk to her for a minute. Sure, but first can you help me pick out a tree? Summer’s full of holiday cheer. And she thinks it’s really cool that Seth invited her tonight, even after everything they’ve been through. So, was there something you wanted to talk to me about? Uh, would you mind making latkes?
Ryan and Seth meet up later at the pool house. Seth wants to know how Lindsay took the news. He couldn’t do it. You wussed out? Well… she made yarmuclaus. But at least Summer and Marissa aren’t coming. Yeah, about that… Hey, look who’s at the door… Summer and Marissa! And now here’s Lindsay. Oh, that’s awkward.
Sandy pours Caleb a drink. Caleb’s finally ready to come clean with Kirsten. Impeccable timing, Caleb, it’s Chrismukkah. But then Renee drops by and asks to talk to Kirsten. She tells Kirsten that what she wants to say to her, Caleb should be saying to her. Speaking of… Caleb enters the kitchen and asks Renee what she’s doing here. Sandy says she’s doing what he’s about to do.
Julie and Jimmy suddenly appear from the other room, looking a little flushed and frazzled. What’s going on? Caleb starts by apologizing to Lindsay and Kirsten. He wishes he could have protected both of them from his… “error.” Lindsay suddenly puts the pieces together, “Omigod, you’re my father.” Lindsay storms out. Kirsten slaps Caleb and tells him to get out of her house. Then Julie slaps Caleb and tells him he should be ashamed of himself. Then Ryan heads out to talk to Lindsay and Seth heads up to talk to his mom. Marissa and Summer are left alone in the kitchen. Then Summer reflects on the moment, “Suddenly my family, not looking so dysfunctional.” Then Marissa reflects on Summer’s reflection, “You do realize that this is my family too?” Oh, right.
Ryan shows up at Lindsay’s house. He just wants her to know that he’s here for her. She thinks it’s best if they don’t see each other anymore. She doesn’t ever want to be near his family again. Oh, and happy holidays.
Summer and Marissa hang out in Seth’s bedroom noting that things are getting even weirder than last year. Marissa thinks what’s happening is that her ex-boyfriend is dating her step-sister, but she’s not sure. Seth comes in with worse news yet, “I think we have to cancel Chrismukkah.”
At a dinner, the foursome discuss the fall of Chrismukkah. Seth’s ready to throw in the towel but Summer isn’t giving up so easily. She still believes in a Chrismukkah miracle. And she has a plan….
Meanwhile, back at the Cohen’s, Sandy’s eating Chinese food alone and Kirsten’s still holed up in her walk-in closet. Ryan tries talking to Kirsten. He’s wants to talk about Lindsay. Kirsten asks if she’s ok. No, not right now. But Ryan thinks it’s going to depend on whether or not Lindsay figures out that she’s part of a family that’s pretty good at letting in new members. The closet door opens. Good line, Ryan.
Meanwhile, Marissa and Summer head over to Jimmy’s. Summer can’t believe Marissa’s dad lives on a boat. It’s so… Miami Vice. Jimmy comes out of the cabin looking a little disheveled. Marissa tells him they’re in need of a generator and an extension cord. Chrismukkah hangs in the balance. Fortunately Jimmy lives on a boat and those are the kind of things people who live on boats need to have. Marissa and Summer take off with the stuff and Jimmy heads back into the cabin where Julie’s been hiding. He asks if they’re making a huge mistake. She thinks so, but wants to be with him anyway.
Seth tracks down Lindsay sitting out on the sand. He officially welcomes her to the Cohen family… and to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self doubt. It’s a little too soon to joke, don’t you think, Seth? nbspNope, not for a Cohen. Apparently that’s what Cohens do – they make jokes inappropriately soon after a traumatic event. Then Seth reminds Lindsay that they’ve got a lot to be grateful for, mostly that they didn’t start dating each other. Good point. Seth walks her home and when they arrive… the front yard suddenly lights up with the colors of Chrismukkah. The entire Cohen clan is there to greet her. Seth sits down next to Summer, “Summer Roberts, you saved Chrismukkah.”
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