Happy anniversar…oops
Seth needs Ryan to cover for him - he "accidentally" spent the night at
Alex's. Tragically, Ryan is a crappy liar, and Sandy sees through him
immediately. But Sandy's got problems of his own - he forgot his twentieth
anniversary. Kirsten is not amused.
Love stinks
Summer mocks Seth for wearing the same clothes two days in a row, but
is shocked to discover he's wearing them because he spent the night at
Alex's. She figures they must be having sex. She's so upset she blows
Zach off when he comes bearing coffee. Julie wants the family together
for a photo shoot for Riviera magazine, but neither Marissa nor Caleb
is enthused. Marissa threatens to bring DJ. Summer decides that it's time
for her and Zach to move their relationship forward by sleeping together.
Zach misinterprets the conversation, and thinks it's time for her to meet
his family. Ryan and Lindsay decide they really need to tell Kirsten about
their relationship - but not yet.
Crime and punishment
Sandy makes some last-minute reservations for an anniversary weekend,
but Kirsten thinks the kids are too out-of-control to leave alone. Sandy
decides to get tough - he yells at the boys, then sends them to their
respective rooms to study. They seem very repentant. Later Sandy decides
they should be spending quality time with the kids. He finds Seth sneaking
out the window, and Kirsten discovers Ryan and Lindsay "studying" in a
distinctly horizontal manner. The boys try to make it up to their parents
by preparing a bevy of pancakes, but the adults are not impressed.
Taking action
Sandy decides to see who Seth is sneaking out to, and meets Alex at the
bait Shop. She's intimidated, but impressed that his dad cares enough
to come check her out. When Seth sneaks over after school, she tells him
she needs some time. Seth is both appalled and embarrassed. Sandy thinks
this action will appease Kirsten, but it's no good - she's canceled the
anniversary trip. Besides, she's tired of Sandy's attempts at "discipline"
- he's such a softy that the boys walk all over him. She blames his leniency
for Seth running away in the summer. Sandy is shocked.
Let's talk
Sandy finally has one of his patented talks with the boys. He finds out
Seth isn't sleeping with Alex, and confesses that Kirsten is pissed at
him, too. Ryan asks how they can help. Lindsay stops by Kirsten's office
to apologize. Kirsten's still a little freaked, and tells her they need
to cool off their own relationship a bit. When Lindsay tries to tell Ryan
that he preempts her - he hates hurting Kirsten, and thinks they should
cool it a little. Lindsay is dismayed that she started the day with a
sister and a boyfriend, and now she just has friends. Seth asks Alex for
his job back, and Alex tells him how lucky he is to have such a great
father. Hers, apparently, ain't so great.
Meet the parents
Summer is way out of her league with Zach's mom and sister - they're passionately
political and globally minded, while she thinks Kashmir refers to pashminas.
She does not impress, so she starts trying to read up on world events.
Zach doesn't call. DJ arrives at the Cooper-Nichols photo shoot, only
to discover Marissa lied when she said Julie wanted him there. He leaves,
but is intercepted by Julie, who gives him $5,000 to stay away from Marissa.
He appears to accept.
Party of the Week
Sandy hires some babysitters for the boys - a couple of Orange County
cops. Kirsten agrees to go out to dinner with him. But the cops interrupt
midway through the main course-somehow, the boys got away from them. Sandy
guesses they'll be at the Bait Shop. He's right - they're there, along
with all Kirsten and Sandy's friends. Surprise! Kirsten is amazed that
Sandy managed to orchestrate the party. Sandy has more surprises - he
jumps up on stage to sing. Zach tells Summer he likes her because she's
different from his family. Julie tells Marissa that DJ took a check to
leave her alone, and Marissa storms off. Outside, she finds DJ - he didn't
take the money, but since he suspects Marissa is just dating him to piss
off Julie, he breaks up with her. Seth introduces Alex to Kirsten, who
thanks her for helping with the party. Kirsten tells Ryan to go dance
with Lindsay. Looks like this couple is on again.
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Ryan is happily eating his morning cereal when he receives a call from Seth asking him to cover for him… since he didn’t exactly make it home last night. He did go to bed though, just not his own. Alex is in the background, holding up his text books and asking if he wants some home-schooling.
Upstairs, Kirsten wishes Sandy a happy Anniversary. And a happy anniversary right back at ya. Kirsten quickly realizes that Sandy doesn’t know how long they’ve been married. He protests. What? Who forgets a 20th Anniversary? Apparently Sandy.
Ryan gives covering his best shot but Sandy was a public defender for too many years not to know a lie when he hears one. Seth snuck out to see his girlfriend, didn’t he? Ryan may suck at lying but he’s pretty good with the blank stare.
In the student lounge, Ryan tells Seth he’s busted. Summer and Zach drop by and while Zach’s off fetching Summer her coffee, Summer notices that Seth’s wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday. What, you’re shacking up with Alex? Neither Seth nor Ryan can look her in the eye. Summer takes off as Zach returns. She’s suddenly not in the mood for a latte.
Marissa finds Julie and Caleb out on the patio and asks for money. Julie tells Marissa they’re going to be featured in Riviera Magazine. Julie thinks it’s a great opportunity to demonstrate the resilience and strength of their family. And the exposure isn’t bad either. Marissa’s not exactly down for smiling and pretending they’re this big perfect family. Well, no smiling, no money. So that’s how it is? An irritated Caleb throws down some cash and heads out.
Ryan and Lindsay agree that they need to tell Kirsten about their relationship, but Lindsay wants to wait a little while. She and Kirsten have plans to go shopping. Ryan doesn’t want to have to lie about it, mostly because… he sucks at it.
Sandy surprises Kirsten with weekend reservations at the Montage Hotel and Resort. The thing that surprises Kirsten is that the Montage gave Sandy last minute reservations. Last minute? What are you talking about? Sandy claims he made the reservations weeks ago. Kirsten looks skeptical, but in any case she doesn’t want to leave the boys alone right now. Sandy assures her that after a dose of Cohen discipline, the boys won’t be a problem. He calls Seth and Ryan into the kitchen and grounds them both. Then he adds that if they can’t be trusted to stay home alone, they’ll have to stay at their grandfather’s house… which means spending the weekend with Julie Cooper. In unison, the boys promise to behave.
Sandy and Kirsten are hanging out in the living room watching TV when Sandy starts wondering if maybe grounding the boys was a little too harsh. He’s thinking maybe they should log some quality parent-child time before they go away for the weekend. Hey, Bill O’Reilly’s on. That’s punishment enough. Sandy heads upstairs to fetch Seth and Kirsten heads out to find Ryan. And guess what? Seth’s climbing out his bedroom window and Ryan’s making out with Lindsay.
Now Kirsten’s convinced they can’t go away for the weekend. Sandy disagrees. After the lecture he gave Seth this morning, he promises won’t be climbing out of any more windows. Kirsten’s more concerned with Ryan and her… sister. Sandy tells Kirsten they can’t fight a war on multiple fronts. “Have we learned nothing from the Nazis?”
The following morning, Sandy and Kirsten enter the kitchen and are greeted by Seth, Ryan, and a smorgasbord of breakfast delights. Sorry boys, too little, too late. No more apologies, no more pancakes. Straight home after school.
DJ drops by the Nichols estate to pick up Marissa before school. Julie follows her outside, reminding her about tomorrow’s photo shoot. Great. Still not coming. Julie begins pleading and bribing when Marissa suddenly has a change of heart. Ok, but first she needs to talk to DJ to see if he’s free. They’ll get back to her. Great.
Sandy shows up at The Bait Shop and has a little chat with Alex. He tells her he came to apologize for keeping Seth from sneaking out of the house to see her last night. But Alex doesn’t beat around the bush. She comes right out and asks if he wants her to stop seeing Seth. “Yeah, but seeing how he’s a teenage boy and you’ve got tattoos and run a rock and roll club, I’m not expecting any miracles.” So what is this, a warning? Sandy explains that it’s his 20th Anniversary and his wife is convinced they can’t leave Seth alone. Sandy thinks Seth will listen to Alex. “Wow, no dad has every asked me to straighten out his son before.” Sandy tells her he doesn’t like going behind Seth’s back but sometimes you have to be a bad dad to be a good dad. Alex says she hasn’t had much experience with good dads.
Meanwhile, Summer approaches Zach in the student lounge and proposes they take their relationship to the next level. Wow, he was thinking the same thing! He’ll just give his parents a call. Huh? Well, if they’re going to be meeting his girlfriend, he thinks they should probably know about it.
Seth shows up at Alex’s place, “I’m here for an afternoon tutorial on the art of getting it on.” Or not. Alex tells him his parents are worried about him. Um, how would she know that unless his dad stopped by the club. He did. Well, that’s embarrassing. Alex says she’s going to need some space. But tell your parents Happy Anniversary!
Sandy’s excited about the big Anniversary weekend at the resort but Kirsten refuses to leave the boys with Julie Cooper and she’s not leaving them alone. She’s also not happy with Sandy’s lack of disciplinary skills. He’s too busy being their friend to be their father. And on top of that, he forgot their anniversary and she cancelled the reservation.
Sandy and Seth have a little chat. He asks if Seth and Alex are having sex. Seth tells him he doesn’t have to worry about that, thanks to Sandy dropping by the club and humiliating him. Sandy explains he left him no choice. Then Ryan walks by and Sandy calls him over to join the party. Sandy thought Ryan and Lindsay were heading into the friendship zone? Ryan tries to apologize for lying but Sandy says it’s a little late for apologies, his 20th Anniversary weekend is officially ruined. The boys want to know how they can help.
Lindsay stops by Kirsten’s office to apologize for her part of the deception. She tries explaining that she and Ryan starting dating before she found out about everything. Kirsten thinks they should take some time. She would never ask Lindsay to stop seeing Ryan but she thinks they should take a step back as long as they are. A step back? So what, does that mean we’re cousins? Kirsten thinks maybe they should be friends.
Summer meets Zach’s family. Zach tells her not to be nervous. She’s not. All dads love Summer. Yeah, dad couldn’t make it. But here’s his mom and sister. Summer tries to participate in the conversation but mistakes Zach’s sister’s “Kashmir” reference for “Cashmere” and Zach has to explain that they’re not talking about pashminas. And from there, it just gets worse.
Meanwhile, Seth drops by The Bait Shop. Alex wants to know if this is his idea of time and space. He claims he’s there on official business -- to get his old job back. She tells him he doesn’t realize how lucky he is. That my dad showed up and humiliated me? “No, that he showed up at all.” Alex hands Seth the mop. He wants to know if there are any perks? Alex doesn’t know what the point is – Seth’s parents are never going to approve of her. Seth thinks maybe they can show them that she’s not so bad.
Back at the Nichols estate, the photo session is in progress. Caleb doesn’t understand what’s taking so long. Is the guy painting a portrait or taking a photograph? Suddenly DJ shows up. Caleb wants to know what’s the lawn guy’s doing here? Julie follows DJ and hands him a check for $5000 to stay away from Marissa. He drives off.
Ryan and Lindsay meet at the pier. Ryan tells her their relationship is causing problems between Kirsten and Sandy, so he thinks they should take a break. Lindsay clearly wasn’t expecting this. “Great. Two hours ago I had a sister and a boyfriend. Now all I have are friends.”
Back home, Sandy walks in and announces he’s taking Kirsten out to the Arches for their anniversary dinner. Kirsten looks at him like he’s crazy. But he assures her he’s hired a couple of reliable babysitters. In walks two uniformed Orange County police officers. The cops promise Kirsten her boys will be safe with them.
Kirsten and Sandy are at dinner when the two baby-sitting cops walk into the restaurant. They don’t know what happened. They went outside for a minute and suddenly the boys were gone. Uh, check please.
The cops give Sandy and Kirsten a ride to The Bait Shop and… surprise! Happy Anniversary! The gang’s all here. Emcees Seth and Ryan announce the evening’s main attraction… Sandy Cohen and the News. Sandy dedicates the song to the one he loves… and the one he hopes will forgive him for forgetting their 20th anniversary.
At the party, Julie finds Marissa hanging out alone and tells her that as a test she offered $5000 to DJ to leave her alone and he took it. Marissa storms out. DJ finds her on the pier and tells her he can’t do this anymore. She assumes he took the money but he tells her he didn’t. But that doesn’t change anything. “I’m not saying you didn’t like me. Just not as much as you hate her.” DJ hands Marissa the blank check and tells her to go on a shopping spree courtesy of Mom.
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